I lost my temper tonight with someone on another platform.

I met this person when I was 10. We went through grade school, junior high, and high school together. And it was a small school so it wasn't just a "nodding in the hall" thing - we knew each other. In fact, we had an acting duet in Forensics when we were seniors, and we got all the way to the semifinals at the state tournament.

We've developed in different directions. I've become (I hope) more compassionate. We grew up in a small Kansas town, where racism was common and expected. Gay people stayed closeted because they would not be accepted. I cannot imagine the experience a trans person would have had there.

I didn't know better until I left. The changes I've experienced have been substantial. Finding out how wrong you've been can be painful. Sometimes I don't even feel like I'm the same person now that I was then.

On the other hand, he's become less compassionate (at least, that's the way it looks from where I am at). His dad started his own church after I left our hometown, and that seems to have affected this guy a lot.

He seems "happiest" when he feels righteous. Happy isn't the right word, but I don't know a better one.

Once or twice a year, on the platform we were connected on, he would pick a fight with me over something I'd posted. Usually, I would treat his inquiry as if it was legitimate, and I would patiently explain to him what was going on, or my perspective, and maybe half the time he seemed to get it and accept it.

I remember one time I had to explain something about BLM to him, because he had gotten some bad info. He was surprisingly receptive and seemed to calm down significantly. I remember feeling a sense of really having accomplished something.

That was years ago.

He picked a fight with me today and I found out I don't have it in me to educate him anymore. I asked him what kind of a jerk someone would have to be to pop out of the woodwork a couple of times a year just to pick a fight, and otherwise to never interact. He never comments or behaves like an actual friend. He just rears up a couple of times a year and antagonizes me. I said that was a weird thing to do.

And I think it IS weird. How weird would it be to only knock on a "friend's" door a couple of times a year, solely to tell that person that you disagreed with them and wanted them to know. To never say hello to them, never send a card, never stop and chat in the grocery store....Just show up at their house twice a year or so, and start an argument.

Weird. And rude as heck.

But I think a lot of online culture would have us believe that's an ACCEPTABLE thing to do. I think the prevailing thought right now is: If you're posting online, then you're inviting people to come shout at you.

I think it's situational. Is the OP an elected official using their official account? Then yes, that's proper. Go tell that person you disagree with them. If you're a constituent, that's your right and I would also say responsibility. Tell your representative what you want them to do on your behalf.

Is it someone who is famous/an influencer? Then I say yes to that also. It's their job.

But it's not mine. It's not my job to represent this guy in the legislature. I'm not an influencer who relies on his clicks for my paycheck.

And it's not my job to educate him. I tried, but I'm done. He will have to find someone else, because my patience has been worn away.

And while I am more compassionate than I used to be, I'm not above some pettiness where he is concerned. I hope he steps on legos while he's walking barefoot, and I hope when he's wearing socks he steps in a puddle of unknown origin. I hope his "check engine" light comes on repeatedly. And I hope that little muscle in his lower eyelid twitches a bunch.

When the leopards come for his face, I will probably feel a little bit bad. But I'll be honest; part of me will feel like he earned it.

@AngelaPreston I get how you must feel. I sometimes withdraw completely from social media because of things like this, but I think your approach is better. Once you tell them how you feel, they'll either learn to be better because they understand how their behaviour affects others, or will (hopefully) go away and bother somebody else?