It's a holiday here, and I've been asleep or lounging for a lot of it due to illness. I am watching my son and husband from the inside of the house while they set off a small batch of fireworks. A big part of the reason I've been sleeping, and why I'm taking it easy now instead of going out to light fireworks, is because I know I have to work tomorrow, and as a good worker, my job is to use this day off to make sure I'm as able to work tomorrow as possible.

And when I realized that I could have been out there with them rather than self-exiled, and that I was doing it so I could WORK, I got angry and sad. I should feel like I can throw myself into a holiday with my family, and if that enjoyment sets me back because I don't have enough spoons the next day, that is what sick leave is for. But instead I'm hoarding spoons, because you get fewer of those when you're sick. Saving my few spoons for tomorrow, so I'm not "a person who calls out sick on a Friday." Because of the puritans who founded the country and their damned "you have to earn your place" work ethic.

I guess maybe since this particular holiday is ABOUT the country they founded maybe this makes sense. I still don't like it.